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"Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence."
“Love is not finding someone to live with; it's finding someone you can't live without.” ―
- Rafael Ortiz
That awkward moment when you can’t decide whether you are sad or mad!
Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you.!!
Im a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
i don’t necessarily call it “crazy” i call it happiness with benefits”
If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight? -_-
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
Love doesn’t need a reason. Pure Love will come from the heart without reason. And stay every season. <3
Respect and trust are two easiest thing in life for someone to lose and the hardest things to get back. ;-)
The longer the title the less important the job.
Kidnapping? I prefer the term “surprise adoption”.
You can do anything, but not everything.
When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…”
I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.
That moment when even Caps Lock can’t express your anger.
When you drop your phone, your heart hits the ground before your phone does.
I’m pretty sure my prayers go directly to God’s spam folder.
I like children. Properly cooked.
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice.
The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding.
Need Love? … No… I would prefer vodka!
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
I don’t make mistakes, I date them.
I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
You’re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
I wake up when I can’t hold my pee in any longer.
I look at people sometimes and think… Really? That’s the sperm that won.
Be what you want to be, not what other wants to see.
I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
Good girls are bad girls, who never get caught.
When in doubt, mumble.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Relationships are a lot like Algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can accommodate your smartphones.
Don’t steal, the government hates competition.
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting?
I am not failed, my success is just postponed.
I like to name my iPod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ I click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
UntilI was thirteen I thought my name was ‘Shut up’.
Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your wife.
That awkward moment when you realize that “deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays.
I don’t always have time to study… but when I do, I don’t.
Some people just need a High-Five, on the face.
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school. Iremember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he needs more proof.
Before you judge me, Make sure that you’re perfect.
Never have more children than you have car windows.
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Try to say the letter “M” without your lips touching.
I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.
I never make the same mistake twice. Three or four times maybe. But never twice.
Weird is a side effect of awesome.
I never make stupid mistakes, only very-very clever ones.
I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something.
When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a waiter?
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